Gazebo

My standard reaction to all the bullies in my life so far has been; first, to please them, then to obsess about them which then leads to a 100 different self pitying scenarios in my head, bitching about them, rehearsing award winning ‘screw you’ speeches and never finding the balls to narrate it, making them twice as big in my head, and therefore invincible, isolating them from humaneness thereby removing them from whatever little good they might actually be capable of and finally, confronting them and unfriending them or wait to be unfriended by them on Facebook.

It is true that while bullies come in all manner of sizes and appearances, sometimes even as best friends, they aren’t as strong as our minds make them out to be. I have had a completely unproductive day today but yet here I am, relaxing and thinking about all the bullies that came in and went from my life. I am supremely happy that some of them left, just as happy as I am about the fact that I am still friends with some. It is very difficult to not gloat about the miseries they find themselves in right now while thinking about all the misery they caused me at one point, but I try. And today my ex-bullies mean nothing to me. Not so much because they stopped being bullies but because my priorities changed and so did my vulnerabilities. What few things were so important to me once upon a time mean nothing to me now. People who built themselves a 3 BHK flat with balconies in my head are now far far away in their own 3 BHKs with balconies. Sadly, when they left, other people occupied. And now I can hear them building fucking gazebos in my head.

Never mind this post. Some mad writing spree suddenly took over and I didn’t want to wreck it. Because if you ask me writing crap is better than not writing at all. At least, I’m still writing.

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