I was attacked by squirrels today

I am sitting at my desk minding my own sweet business like a good person and the next thing I know, Sherin starts screaming like a madwoman. She had her finger pointed at me and was jumping in her chair. I looked down and found one squirrel trying to work its way up my thigh and felt another one move past my neck and head and in no time it had hopped onto the table and was looking for its next target. I jumped and made tortured noises and then ran out with such force, I must have scared the bloody squirrels which were skittering all around the floor. One ran past all the legs and sought refuge behind one of the many shelves. I lost track of the other one because I was busy cursing the world and muttering nonsense under my breath.

To top it all, one colleague smiles away to glory and gives me a much needed historical tour on how back home she used to feed nuts to squirrels and how apparently they don’t bite. Another said that they bite. Another said that if they bite, you could get rabies at which point I left the room with Sherin. Soon as we left the damn zoo, 2 more squirrels leaped out at us from under a table. We ran across the corridor like mad things and decided to leave the planet for good.

Even now as I have bravely made my way back to the department and have reclaimed my chair, checked – double checked for all furry creatures, I have only one thing to say – Squirrels are NOT cute. They are vicious creatures who think that every person, sitting or standing and minding their own business, is a tree so they will climb on top of you and try to kill you.


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