Two tabs are open right now. One of them says 10 tips to prevent pms naturally. My head is throbbing with a pain I know is going to get worse when the sun is fully up. Trucks are swaying past my house, dogs are barking their 5:00 am great barks and I am wondering what it would take to finally stop thinking and start living, or sleeping at least. How I wish I thought lesser of life and people, especially when I am jerked out of sleep at 4 in the morning and there is just but a moment’s time before I reach for that wretched phone and before I know it, there’s life and people and facebook and somehow I am left alone to make amends with the fact that sleep has eluded me forever that night. I am sorry, 4 in the morning is night, even 5, and 5:30 are night, not mornings. Idiot. A two wheeler just whistled by. My eyes are beginning to gather weight around them and this I know will pull me down for the rest of the day. I want to sleep now but can’t because waking up an hour later would be a pain and I would be more restless than ever. Nights that I can sleep, I wonder how I do it. Is my body calm and peaceful and arms listlessly cast aside, like they don’t care about my body anymore? Are they moving quietly with my breath? How many times do I change positions when I am asleep. How I wish I could sleep now.

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