How to waste time and other lists

The Proust Questionnaire

Here are the thirty-five questions Proust originally answered in 1890. And this is me in 2021 because I have a ton of work to do but I’d rather be doing this. The last time I did this, I was the same. So nothing’s changed fml.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Waking up early to drink French Press
2. What is your greatest fear? Having the same fear year after year
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? How easy it is to not write
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Putting energy to make others miserable
5. Which living person do you most admire? Asha Kowtal
6. What is your greatest extravagance? Making time to do things I love
7. What is your current state of mind? Gas
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Punctuality
9. On what occasion do you lie? All the time
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? My tooth gap but after I read Wife of Bathe, I don’t mind it so much
11. Which living person do you most despise? Tejaswi Surya
12. What is the quality you most like in a man? Laughter
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? Laughter
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? “As the French say”
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? Detective Inspector Sarah Lund
16. When and where were you happiest? Morning after great nights
17. Which talent would you most like to have? Waking up early
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I wish I wasn’t in a hurry to respond to people
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Moving on
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? The Banyan Tree at St. Joseph’s College, Bangalore
21. Where would you most like to live? Bombay
22. What is your most treasured possession? Capacity for small joys
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Squashing other people’s joys
24. What is your favourite occupation? Plants vs Zombies
25. What is your most marked characteristic? Cracking knuckles in my sleep
26. What do you most value in your friends? Desire to drink
27. Who are your favourite writers? Students
28. Who is your hero of fiction? Alice Munro
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Jackie Chan
30. Who are your heroes in real life? Razia-Razzak
31. What are your favourite names? Rumlolarum and Disco Shanti
32. What is it that you most dislike? Having time but wasting it
33. What is your greatest regret? That I didn’t put kai when I should have
34. How would you like to die? In bed with a book on my chest
35. What is your motto? Live quietly, drink tightly

This is Joan Didion answering the questionnaire when she was 69.