Went through all this bullshit before I finally hit upon ‘Zit’. How could I not think of it as my no 1 ‘words that begin with Z’? There’s nothing more personal to me than zits. They are all over my face. They’ve been loyal companions to me since 17. Right after I fell in love and all. The timing could not have been more perfect. Back then, however I didn’t quite have the patience or the sarcasm to call them my companions. They hurt and bled and oozed pus every time I so much as brushed against it accidentally. I wouldn’t go to sleep for hours worrying about my postures, trying hard as I was, to not smash them on my pillow. If I did have them popped, I would know only in the morning when I would look in the mirror, secretly hoping for a clear skin. And it would be there, unfailingly, every morning of my life. Round and red and ugly. Not to mention, hurting. A dried blob of pus mixed with blood would be sitting there, looking at me, teasing me, warning me, challenging me, even.
I would look at it painstakingly and eventually suck up to temptation and pop it. This wouldn’t happen on all mornings though. Just the ones I would be really desperate on. Most other mornings, it was easier to ignore it, like it didn’t matter, like they weren’t a part of me, like I didn’t see them. But I felt them alright. I felt them when I walked though crowds and unknown faces would look at my zits like they were forced to eat it or something. I felt it when I would pass by a mirror and would be afraid of looking at it. I felt it stronger when relatives would gape at it/me and offer wise words. ‘Avoid oily food’, ‘Do you eat lots of chocolates?’, ‘Drink lots of water’, ‘Change your pillow cover every week’ and ‘do pranayama – it really helps’. I must admit, apart from nursing strong feelings to shoot them down right away, I did take all the advice I could get. Green veggies, water, pranayama (lasted all of 3 days). I even went without eating non veg for a month. It may have helped but I can’t really say because after sometime, I just moved on.
Now I just look at them and be all ‘Oh hi, you’re back’. Honestly, zits have been the only constant thing in my life. I’ve had them for too long now to detest them. They’ve been with me everywhere. They were there for all my firsts. First kiss, first date, first time I got a phone, first time I topped, first orgasm, first time I ran away and now – First time I am writing about them. I can’t really say I love them and that I don’t mind that they are there now. Just that I have come to accept them as a part of my face. So much so that when I dream about myself, I always have zits.